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Paddy O'Brien walked into a breakfast place and asked the
waitress how much for two eggs. She replied, $1.50. Then he
asked "How much for one egg?" She said, "$1.00."
"Okay" says Paddy, I'll take the other one.
An Irish man found a lamp, rubbed it and out popped a genie
and she granted him three wishes. For his first wish he asked
for a bottle of Guinness that would never empty. He drank
from this bottle and was stone drunk for a whole month. When
he sobered up for a minute he realized that he had two more
wishes so he rubbed the lamp again. The genie confirmed that
he had two more wishes. "Okay', he said, "I'll have
two more of these."
Patrick O'Leary went to his girlfriends father to ask permission
to marry her. The father asked him if he could support a family.
Patrick said he could so the father said, "Good, there's
six of us altogether.
Happy St. Patrick's Day everybody! Don't be shy about coming
to celebrate our national holiday with us. We have the best
Irish food and drinks around. We will have live entertainment
all day with Peter' O'Dea and Mike Kilduff. We recently hosted
a very successful sports trivia night. The winners were the
Holliston Apes, namely, Errick Spada, Steve Herdman, Tom Coady
and Steve West. Congratulations also to Terry Lehane's EMC
team who finished one point behind. Our next sports trivia
night is on Sunday, March 28 at 7 p.m. For more information
on all our entertainment visit our website at www.mickeycassidys.com
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Mickey's Gripes
When Irish eyes are smiling
'Tis like a morn in spring
In the lilt of Irish laughter
You can hear the angels sing
When Irish hearts are happy
All the world seems bright and gay
And when Irish eyes are smiling
Sure, they'd steal your heart away
Let me explain to the younger generation the word gay used
to mean happy which brings me to a picture I saw last Thursday
in the Boston Globe. There was a three year old boy standing
outside the State House with a banner that read "I love
my daddy and I love my daddy." In fairness to those daddies
there is no way that a heterosexual couple could have produced
a three year old with such perfect handwriting. However, if
this child had a mother there is no way she would have allowed
him to be standing out in the freezing cold holding this ridiculous
sign. I am not going to enter the gay marriage controversy
other than to say that it is completely unfair to people like
me who are already married because now people choosing a marriage
partner have twice as many people to choose from.
For Catholics, it is lent and Mel Gibson has brought out
a movie for religious reasons. So far he has accumulated 200
million reasons. Lent is also a time when people quit drinking
and some of these people opt for non-alcoholic beers. At Mickey
Cassidy's we have two choices, O'Doul's Regular and O'Doul's
Amber. In case you were wondering which one to choose, here's
the scoop. The amber tastes just as bad as the regular.
It looks like Martha Stewart is off to jail and she is going
to get to bake for all the nice ladies and share her buns
with them.
I have a new friend. His name is George W. Bush. He wrote
me a letter that began "Dear friend". I am so glad
that George and I are friends. Further down in the letter
he suggested that I send him some money for his presidential
campaign. I will not be sending him any money but I will write
back to him and explain that sometimes money can ruin friendships.
"Scooby" O'Brien saw a poster the other night in
the bar advertising our "Irish Evening of Music"
which incidentally was a great success. Thank you to the performers
and the audience alike. Back to Scooby. He asked me what kind
of music it was I explained that it was Irish music and that
it was mostly instrumental music. He then asked me if they
got the crowd to sing along with them. Scooby did send me
a funny golf e-mail which you can read about below.
Market Basket had a sign up that said "coffee is complementary
to our customers." Of course they meant complimentary
and somebody pointed it out to them. I swear it was not me
this time, so now they have a new sign and it reads, "coffee
is free and complimentary to our customers." Free and
complimentary, beat that for a bargain.
I've been reading a new book, if any of you would like to
borrow it
just let me know. It's called the "Useful Golf Book".
It contains some really good articles such as:
1. How to Line Up Your Fourth Putt
2. How to hit a Nike from the rough when you hit a Titleist
from the
tee.
3. How to avoid the water when you lie 8 in the bunker.
4. How to get more distance off the shank.
7. Crying and how to handle it.
8. How to rationalize a 7 hour round.
9. How to find that ball that everyone else saw go in the
water.
10. Why your spouse no longer cares that you birdied the 4th.
11. How to let a foursome play through your twosome without
getting
embarrassed.
12. How to relax when you're hitting five off the tee.
14. God and the meaning of the double bogey.
Now working on the book's sequel, "When to Re-grip Your
Ball Retriever".
Thank you to Steve Lee who is doing a marvelous job on our
website. Please do us and him the honor of visiting at www.mickeycassidys.com
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